The kids are grown. There’s so much less to do, but to find time for an hour of silence with Jesus, outside of Eucharistic Adoration, is difficult. For me, it’s not so much finding the time, the time is available. For me, it’s not the silence. I am learning to love the sound of silence. For me, it’s being quiet.
Those who know me know that I love to sing, to dance, and to talk and engage others in an exchange of verbiage that will bring peals of laughter and fun with the exchange of ideas. Being quiet is extremely difficult. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to keep my mouth from moving for an hour. I’ve tried reading sacred scripture, quietly, but there are times of revalation when I shout, “Wow! Now that makes sense!” There goes my 5 minutes that I have alreadt spent quietly reading Scripture.
When I pray my Rosary, praying in silence is impossible for me. I whisper each prayer on each bead. No, there’s no tribute to silence in my daily prayers. If I have managed to pass the ten minute mark in silence, it’s usually because I dozed off. Yes, even in Eucharistic Adoration, I have nodded into a gentle sleep in front of the King of Kings.
I’ve thought about finding a weekend retreat that is a silent retreat, but I have a feeling that I would be talked to by the retreat master who would demand, and rightfully so, that I be quiet.
Jesus must have spent time in quiet. He would leave his disciples and go off all night or early in the morning to pray. Other than the wild creatures who roamed the tops of the mountains, there wouldn’t have been much noise.
“Be still and know that I AM God.”
There’s still work to be done. I’m glad we have a patient God who loves us beyond all boundaries of time and space. Be still. I will try.